SAMANTHA JOSEPHSON

We live in a time of causal sex defined by one-night-stands, friends with benefits, and booty calls. Started in the 60s and prevalent on college campuses, our hookup culture has ended an era of dating and deep emotional connection found in committed and long-lasting relationships. This change in how we as people intimately interact with each other can be blamed on a variety of reasons from the emergence of the internet and dating apps to the belief that love can’t be found amidst rising divorce rates and the fast pace of life. Regardless, the switch from a dating culture to a hookup one happened. So now the question arises: how do we handle it?

The hookup culture results in many negative outcomes including emotional and psychological injury, nonconsenual sex, sexual violence, sexually transmitted infections, and unintended pregnancy. Yet, 81% of undergraduates participate in some form of hookup behavior with only 46.6% using a condom, 61% involving alcohol, and 34% of those encounters resulting in sexual  intercourse. The hookup culture also amplifies the gender double standard with the promotion of male focused roles in sex practices. Typically, women are scripted to have greater emotional involvement, greater emotional distress as a result, and are usually portrayed as sexual objects who are pressured not only engage in sex but also participate passively. In comparison, a man’s identity is defined by his performance and number of nonrelational sexual encounters. Therefore, the entire event carries both extremely gendered and heavily heteronormative implications. In reality, 83% of women and 63% of men would like a traditional, romantic relationship. Additionally, 57% of women and 82% of men were generally glad they “hooked up” with someone and the discrepancy between the two statistics typically derives from lack of pleasure during the woman’s experience. Even though both genders seem to enjoy themselves, both also experience some level of sexual regret. After a hookup, men tend to have stronger feelings of being “sorry because they felt they used another person” while women have stronger feelings of “regret because they felt used”. As explained, the hookup culture perpetuates the patriarchy’s heteronormative control over women’s sex lives. 

But, how does the hookup culture affect the LGBTQIA+ community? To begin, same-sex relationships are often romanticized and fetishized in popular culture. Furthermore, due to the discourse surrounding same-sex relationships, there exists extensive practices of casual sex within the LGBTQIA+ community that largely predates and contributes to the heterosexual hookup culture. However, on college campuses, LGBTQIA+ students are extremely critical of the hookup culture and aim to challenge its heteronormativity through alternate visions of how sexual relationships can successfully proceed with an emphasis on consent, communication, and queering the pleasure standard. Consequently, dating and hookup apps significantly contribute to the LGBTQIA+’s casual sexual experience as undergraduates. While LGBTQIA+ students actively work to make college campuses a sanctuary of inclusivity, obstacles such as homophobia, transphobia, and bigotry remain in the way of a more mindful and open hookup culture for all. Despite lack of acceptance, many same-sex and queer undergraduates still have a strong desire for and ardently pursue intimate, romantic relationships. Everyone should feel free to sexually mature at their own pace, with whomever they choose, and by whatever level of emotional involvement they decide without feeling pressure, judgement, or shame throughout the process. 

Regardless of your gender or sexuality, we are collectively becoming more sex positive as popular culture normalizes the idea of hooking up for the sole-purpose of sexual pleasure. Whether you see this as a negative or positive change, hookup culture brought sex into everyday conversation; not only decreasing the shameful and embarrassing stigma that surrounds sex but also increasing our acceptance of physical intimacy and sexual diversity. Sex positvity and forming deeper emotional connections are both important to the healthy development of all individuals. With whatever sexual choices you make just remember to stay safe and be healthy!